bad timings!

Well this isnt good! For the last few months Ive been slowly relapsing into my old ways... No I now its not good. Im still eating before anyone has a panic attack, but I am controlling what I eat then bingeing a few days later. I feel depressed and anxious and then I get snappy with those I love. I have even resorted to self harm again which clearly isnt a clever move. I tend ti do it on my feet so in the new year I plan on getting my feet tattooed to prevent me doing it there, and as there isnt anywhere else I can do it without people seeing it may make me realise I am better than that. Back to the eating...I tebd to only eat what I fancy then gorge on it then not eat much the next day. I always have one main meal and I di eat at work. But as I need to be alert and observant work tends to be the place I eat most at. I adore cooking and love cooking for people, I will only cooking for myself if Im cooking for soneone else. I am dreading the christmas dinners coming up, mine isnt too bad I can portion control but at my parents it tends to be put on my plate, hopefully I can put what I want on my plate and I dont have to eat as much. I am also going to cook at least one meal from the 'hairy dieters' cookbook a week and work it up to every meal. Im also going to start going back to the gym. Everyone says I dont need to lose weight just tone up so thats ny plan. I have heard exercising can help lift your mood so surely its worth a try right?  

merry f*cking christmas

 Woooooooooo my Blink 182 "ugly christmas jumper" arrived 3 weeks early from America! I love it!!! 

hat hat hat!

I made a hat! I'm very proud of it too!

Christmas dinner with Stinger

Title says it all really!

melon

turkey!!

choc orange cheesecake

peach melba torte

The Burgh Baby!

I ADORE Edinburgh it is completely safe to say that. some of my best friends live there and I always always have fun when I go. This time was no exception! Not only did we see the St Andrews fireworks, the german market, the castle, the surgeons hall museum and friends, we found a pub that had Frankensteins monster come out of a generator suspended above the dancefloor! Yes yes don't despair now! I have got photos to entertain you with! 

my brother found his real dad

Steven, me and Darren my best boys

Cait, Carmen and moi

cowl

This is the cowl I have made for my mam which are in colours she wears. I'm still shocked at the price of the wool mind! It had only taken me 2hours to knit aswel!

The Burgh!

Once again I have had an amazing weekend away with Steven in Edinburgh for the german christmas market. I got to see 2 of my best friends that live there. Darren and Cait.
I spent ages saving for this weekend as a late birthday present for Steven. A fair few of us went, my brother and his girlfriend, josh, gary and his girlfriend yvonne. 
I was so glad we got to see the fireworks from the castle as they celebrated St Andrews day. I had been bigging the fireworks up from when I saw them last. They were all the big BANG ones which Steven loves.
We wandered the market, had a hot chocolate in a novelty mug, I went ob the merry go round and then to a pub. On the saturday we went to the castle as bobs and josh hadnt been before. We then went to Frankensteins pub for food before doing some shopping then back to the hotel to get ready for our night out. We had an amazing night drinking cocktails and watching Frankenstein come out via a generator and lowered down on a slab he sat up then twitched then laid down again. Believe me when I say it was OUTSTANDING!
We went round a couple of museums too.
I love Scotland and go every year and to go with friends and family made it even better.